Peyton Manning

I'm only drinking this because it's green and it reminds me of money

I'm only drinking this because it's green and it reminds me of money

Date of contract: My guess is at some point in 2002

Peyton Peyton. He is known for being SUCH A GOOD GUY.  Seriously.  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM.   He works hard, does well, HE’S SO NICE!!!   First round draft pick, number one pick in 1998.  Has stayed with the SAME TEAM for his entire career.  MVP awards, Superbowl ring in 2006.

But Peyton Manning – you have a $99.2 million, seven-year contract and  another $11.5 in endorsements from : Mastercard, Gatorade, ESPN, Sprint, Reebok, Direct TV and a razor company.  After the 2006 Superbowl, the world was sick of looking at you. We still sort of are.

Johannes says My sense is that this guy went for the magnum, solid gold contract because he not only wanted the financial rewards- he wanted the premium Perfect Image upgrade. 

The devil does not succeed in finding many people to sign contracts of this caliber because the price is steep.  I pity this one as his downfall will be rough, I presume: a massive injury that leads to early retirement that his trophy wife did not at all anticipate and now here he is in a wheelchair needing to be lifted and changed every day. This restless home-life will lead to drinking. He’ll go bald, become addicted to internet porn, his wife and children will leave him and he’ll be stuck in a house made of wheelchair ramps and filled with cases of flourescent green Gatorade, ugly high top Reeboks that he can’t even wear because he can’t walk and a freakishly tempting assortment of razors at his disposal.

I’d keep an eye on that brother of his.  The younger sibling always wants it more…

Published in: on May 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm  Leave a Comment  

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